JESUS my Lord and Savior
©All Rights Reserved –Anastasia Diamond
https://jesusmylordandsavior.wordpress.com/
My Beautiful Mother…on Her Wedding Day
I miss you mother…I miss you today
It has been an entire life time since I held you as you took your last breaths. My life has been forever tempered by your life…and your death.
How could I have known then, how much I would still miss you and love you now…after all these years?
Ours was a difficult relationship that ended much too soon. You were a hot-headed forty-eight, and I was a hot-headed sixteen. We clashed…and clashed often. Indeed, we argued that night so long ago, when you died of a coronary thrombosis.
Though we were different in so many ways then, I have grown to appreciate so much about who you were, and your day-to-day struggles to survive. We may have been more alike than different after all.
From a hindsight, 20/20 perspective, I eventually came to appreciate and acknowledge that we had a lot in common. We probably would have become friends…had you lived until I grew out of my rebellious years.
There were so many times I felt only anger and abandonment when I needed you…and missed you along the way. It wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I was able to make peace with the ghosts of the past. I completely credit my blood-bought relationship with Jesus for the mental, emotional and spiritual healing and forgiveness in my heart.
Today I know you did the absolutely best you could do…given the times, circumstances, and your family life history.
Thank you dear mother for all you did.
You provided a clean home, with good moral standards in the midst of difficult times. You set a spiritual foundation of attending church and honoring God. You had a ninth grade education, but possessed amazing wisdom and communication skills. You encouraged my inquisitive mind, and taught me to appreciate learning, philosophy, religion, politics, reading, poetry, writing, and art. I still remember some of our interesting kitchen-table conversations and debates.
You expressed your love and creativity with lots of the best freshly baked, yummy delights; pies, cakes and cookies. I am still amazed to this day at how you were able bake like a master pastry chef in that old coal stove!
Tender emotions were difficult for you.
You were not a ‘hugger’ and I do not remember you ever telling me you loved me. However, I will always remember the day you brought me my jacket in the rain.
I never knew the wise medical decision you made in my best interest until a bit over ten years ago when I contacted my childhood cardiologist with some questions. He sent me copies of my very old medical records and letters. I anxiously opened the envelope, and was completely surprised to learn that you probably saved my life well over 50 years ago…when cardiologists recommended I have open-heart surgery…and you said, No!
You were still coping with the loss of my father, just a few years before, who died on the operating table during an open-heart surgery when I was seven. You apparently were not going to take any chances with my life. Thank you mother. I am now 63-years old; I still have the same heart…and never needed surgery.
There are so many ways to express love…yours was a love expressed through wisdom and service to others.
I am now older than you were then…and still missing you. I love you my dear and precious mother.
Addendum: My mother died June 7, 1963
All Rights Reserved ©2009-2010…”JESUS my Lord and Savior-ANASTASIA DIAMOND’S Prayerful Reflections…and Photographs on a Spiritual Journey from Darkness into HIS Light” Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from Anastasia Diamond is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided full and clear credit is given author/photographer and with appropriate and specific direction to the original content at: https://jesusmylordandsavior.wordpress.com/
You may also want to visit my other prayerful reflections for Mother’s Day which are also on this blog:
https://jesusmylordandsavior.wordpress.com/2009/05/11/mothers-day-reflections-and-prayer/
https://jesusmylordandsavior.wordpress.com/2010/05/07/happy-and-blessed-mothers-day/
Anastasia Diamond
JESUS my Lord and Savior 